9. You're never concerned about how you stand until you realize 200 people are watching you.
8. Aren't diagrams cool?
7. Breathing is the first thing one forgets to do on stage.
6. Heard people say that in a string quartet is like a bottle of wine, and that the cello is the bottle, the first violinist the label, and the second violin and viola the wine? Utter nonsense. The violist is far more important - as the cork!
5. Apparently the micro-fiber cloths for computers work wonders as rosin cleaners. I'm less impressed with the use of corks, surprisingly.
4. The principles of faking: In rehearsal, look at your stand partner and shake your head. In concert pretend nothing has happened. And when all else fails - retune your instrument - whether you need to or not!
3. Bow right hand, viola left hand. Shoes on feet. Socks first.
2. As a German violist once said, be careful of telling insulting viola jokes. Why? Because violists generally have large hands.
1. When rosin breaks, if you have a container of the right shape, try microwaving - or using a hair dryer.
Nuke it, man.