It's Hot, Part 1

It just doesn't seem to want to cool down over here. And so I've been thinking, if this continues, we'll have newspaper articles like the following:

PENANG, Sat. - Penang's first State Executive Councillor for the Friggin Heat, YB Kay Poh Chi, suggested cryogenic suspension as a viable option for Penangites wishing to escape the soaring temperatures. "Penang people just love sitting around doing nothing, anyhow," he said at a press briefing this evening, where he also placed three involuntary journalists under a failed cryogenic experiment. "Well, we'll get it right next time, and besides, they were partially responsible for that cartoon in the paper," Kay elaborated. "We all know all comics are evil."

PENANG, Sun. - Newest NGO, Krazy People Against Sunday (Ky-PAS), protested outside the State Legistature for a renaming of the first day of the week. "It's bad enough that the sun is that hot, we don't need to encourage it," said a protester. "We propose it be named Moonday. We like the moon." A spokesperson for the government dismissed the idea, saying, "It's obvious why we can't do that. People will get all confused with Monday and come to work on the wrong day - traffic is bad as it is."