The creaking floors, the shrieks and screams
That haunt your nights and freak your dreams
Are only the firsts of that to be heaved and seen
Upon your life on Halloween.
Vampires lurk with fantastic dental,
Witches with warts are as usual, mental.
The kids, disappointed when you answer the door,
Go, "Crap. What do you think all this toilet paper is for?"
But worse still, you dread that awful torment
Of the sort that worms and goo and taxes ferment
When the door opens to your deepest fear
The words of the monster does appear
The shock you receive in a deafening blast
"Trick or treat! I'm a violist - and this ain't no mask!"