It's just occured to me that I've got around three months left 'till the end of my contract here, and I've already indicated to the management that I won't be renewing it this time. Though some moves are in some sort of progress into the next step, there is some level of anxiety. I'm trying to avoid two options being considered feasible: going back to teach in Penang, and taking a loan from my folks to pursue further education. I sincerely hope that there will be other ways, and a more pragmatic approach will be to seek out scholarships and teaching assistantships now - first target: Australia, and consider working in KL.
Studying full-time now is particularly attractive. I've been working practically full time since, during and after my bachelor's degree, and that's some eight years. To take some serious time and just concentrate on academia will be great, and if I can find a place where that means more than just performance but an exploration of ideas, and enjoy a real campus life... perfection.
There are always options, and there are always choices, leaving only one's personal choices of blinkers. For evil or for good. Yes, I know that.
Still, there are things to do in the next three months, and still, that's a full quarter of the year to make things happen. There's the Thailand Philharmonic Orchestra concert this month, which will provide some extra funding which I should save up... a possible period of renovation which will allow me to go back to Penang without taking leave at the end of September, and then tutoring in Sayowe, also good for savings. Hopefully another concert of the Chulalongkorn Uni Viola Ensemble, and it looks like there may be some quartet playing too.
I've been thinking of what to do for tutoring the Sayowe viola section this year - and for now an arrangement for chamber music for four violas is on the books, and I think a session on pedagogy will be useful. If these violists plan for a career in music, teaching will be at least part of it, no matter what level or area they plan to be in, and trying out teaching will be useful. I will be asking for some of my viola students to come and allow these young people to try out teaching them. Overall, I will need to create a workshop session of discussion and sharing of ideas, and going past language barriers will be a challenge.
Three months. 90 days. One season. Time is not your enemy. Repeat it, please.