I've been feeling like there's a ball and chain shackled to my leg. Or a monkey on my back. Or a cloud over my head. Actually, considering that there are three of these on my case - a theory proficiency, a piano proficiency and a recital - I suppose I have all three. A cloudy monkey handcuffed to my leg. I'll never see a zoo again in the same light.
I actually am looking forward to my recital, but it seems that life is getting in the way of having a full devotion to it, and that truly bugs the heck out of me. I had thought that getting my As in Form and Analysis and piano would be sufficient enough considering the former is the highest theory course here and the latter had actual repertoire, and instead of extra practice time I'm reviewing theory concepts I never had a formal class in, and sight reading clefs I rarely ever use. It's aggravating because on some level I know that I quite simply and perhaps a little less-than-humbly don't respect the idea that I should be tested on these areas.
I feel like a final semester chef who is in the specialized business of baking bread being checked on whether I know how to go fly fishing and plant a rhubarb - the point is first that so long as one knows I could if I really wanted to put time into it, then consider why on this good earth would I ever want to?
On the positive side: I've finally been able to run through all the notes in whole recital program, and to borrow the words of a friend, there sure are a heck load of them. The musical progress isn't too far away too, and the new shoulder rest is a great help. The break has finally given me back some of the real inspiration of this repertoire, through being around some of the right people, being away from the wrong people, being in a different environment and having some time to construct my program notes and accompanying media. Preview (with tentative date and time) below.
I'm actually looking forward to 2008. Just months to go. It's time to extremely violently if still metaphorically - or is it the other way around? - shoot my fly-fishing rhubarb monkey.
P.S. Theory makes a heck lot more sense in places where they sing "God Save the Queen", and to even out the field everyone with prior knowledge in theory and/or piano should be forced to take proficiency in writing program notes - which, ironically enough, is in many cases the only one of those three which is an eventual doctoral necessity.
P.P.S. Another touch of irony: I actually believe in strict gun control. Malaysian law may be tough (death penalty for unlawful possession of even one article of ammunition), but it's loads better than getting shot.
P.P.S. Last but not least: Happy New Year everyone. May all your metaphorical firearms aim true at your monkeys, whatever they may be.