Thursday, September 28, 2006

She said what?

Quotes for today... and a touch of acid from mua.

"Gallons of ink have been unnecessarily expended on the crucial question of Beethoven's relationships with women." - Baker's Biographical Dictionary of Musicians well as Tchaikovsky's relationship with men.

"His handwriting was all but indecripherable. An earnest Beethoveniac spent time with a microscope trying to figure out what kind of soap Beethoven wanted his housekeeper to purchase for him; the scholar's efforts were crowned with triumphant success: the indecripherable word was gelbe - Beethoven wanted a piece of yellow soap. Q.E.D." - Baker's Biographical Dictionary of Musicians

...and I was thinking, gee, the latest season of "The Bold and the Beautiful"?

"The critic's duty is to report that Mr Bocelli is not a very good singer. The tone is rasping, thin and, in general, poorly supported. Even the most modest movement thins it even more, signaling what appears to be the onset of strangulation.... Accusing audiences of being gullible won't wash. The music public can be conned only for a short time, and Mr Bocelli's success is of reasonably long standing." - Bernard Holland, The New York Times, Sept. 8

Ah, but have you considered using gelbe soap?

"'David, what are you doing?"
'Well Frank,' I replied, 'I'm warming up.'
'But what are you doing way up there in the high positions? You know David, I make all my money in the first position.'"
- David Soyer of the Guaneri Quartet recounting a conversation with a cello soloist when he was an orchestral cellist, in The Art of String Quartet Playing.

...and I make all of mine in the fake position.

"'I feel sorry for those poor instrumentalists who can't make glissandos - the poor pianists!" Arnold Steinhardt in The Art of String Quartet Playing.

...I, on the other hand, feel sorry for those poor musicians who can't make good coffee.

And finally one which deserves to stand without my two cents:

"When you told a stupid joke to God and got no response, was it that the joke was too stupid or not quite stupid enough?"
- Lorne Moore in Real Estate, in The Best American Short Stories 1994.

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