Thursday, September 15, 2005

Innovation Friday: The Geneticists' Music School

Bach... is Back!

How many times have your heard musicians ask questions like "If Bach were alive today, how would he have liked to have his music played?"

Well, ask no more! At the Geneticists' Music School, we have used futuristic technology to make history come alive. With cloning technology, we have accurately used samples of DNA of great icons of music to bring them back to answer those questions musicians so crave answers to!

We know what you're thinking - that it's not just genetics, but the conditioning environment that creates genius. We are happy to report that we have overcome this barrier, making these historically great men (and women) of our times as well as of their own. By using other branches of science, we have managed to recreate these environments as well - 3D animation and hologram technology, as well as out-of-work actors and actresses, have been used to breed the societies they lived in. Well chosen pharmaceuticals and aroma theraphy look good to get our cloned Bach to have the 20 some children he had four centuries ago, and we have even recreated Listz's sickly if handsome demeanor from his mother's accident of falling into a well while pregnant (no wells were hurt in this production). Brahms's supposed affair with Clara Schumann is a little trickier (we're still working on it), but our mental health wing is all ready for Robert Schumann's well-documented little foray into loco-land.

Of course, even the greatest breakthroughs in science must take time. Our cloned musical greats are now reaching their first birthdays, and our Baby Bach is already growing a nice mane of white hair which people previously mistook for a wig. Considering Mozart wrote symphonies as a child, we are planning opening music classes in 2010. Register today for Early Bird specials and be a part of both history and the future, right here at the Geneticists' Music School!


~short stuff~ said...

LOL. Can I be Beethoven?

~tengman.k.~ said...

sorry. you're too old d. you could be beethoven's mother though. :P