The International Viola Code, Part 1

Those unfamiliar with why there are more jokes about the idiocy of violists should check out a scientific study of the phenomenon, linked here. For those already familiar (poor things, you), the following will fit right into the pattern:

The International Viola Code, Part 1:

Airport Musical Awareness
When passing through airport security, and asked by a security officer, “Is that a violin?”, violists are obliged by the Code to enter full steam into a passionate lecture about the uniqueness of the viola, including a comprehensive list of viola repertoire, and mathematical, scientific and religious aspects of the instrument (statistics may be fabricated at will for this purpose). Other violists within the vicinity are to nod their heads energetically throughout, sprinkled with liberal doses of “Uh-huh”s and “Darn right”s. Those inclined may also sing selected excerpts from viola orchestra parts - about 30 bars of almost any Strauss Waltz is recommended. At the end of the lecture (minimum 20 minutes) the violists are to end with “But yeah, it’s just like a violin, sure, dude.”